Happy New Years Eve

It has been awhile since I have posted. I was released from the hospital and finished my treatment 10/31/2010 and went into the healing phase. Treatment phase was a piece of cake compared to that first week home. I must admit I don't think I was at all prepared for that first week. It was a toughie. But I got thru it with a little help from my friends and family and a reminder to take the medications. I am not sure why I was advoiding the pills but soon found that they were a neccesessity for comfort and healing.

The last two months have brought some remarkable changes. My body is pretty much healed. I feel strong and healthy again. The one left over is my thinning hair. I have stopped up the shower and sink drains several times this last month. I am hoping this will soon end get back to normal.

I have had a couple of doctors appointments with great news. One exam they could not feel or see the tumor. Yahoo!!!!!! All this was not for nothing. And then the radiologist released me from his care. I will have follow ups with the surgeon and the oconologist but I really feel that the treatment worked and I won't have any issues. I am very optimistic but I also know that tests and scans will be my best friend for the coming years.

So it is New Years Eve and a time to reflect. I see this past years in phases. The treatment phase, the healing phase and now I am entering the strengthening phase. So to help us with this phase, Ross and I went out today and had our feet measured and bought some great walking/running shoes. because of his knees and ankles he has been riding his bike. I have been walking with Tucker and getting ready to start training for the 5k run and walk in January. Amy and Danielle are running in it and I really want this to be my first 5k and share
the moment with the girls. So from now on you will see me blogging more about this new journey.

Active feet are happy feet. Push on!!!!!!!!

Boo!!!!

It's Halloween and the nurses have to have some fun too. They came dressed in costumes. They decided to go with the Alice in Wonderland theme. Great idea. They have long days, work hard and I am sure this kind of distraction is just what they need from time to time.

These are my gals for the day. They are wonderful and catered to all my needs. Kisses to all the nurses I have met and attended to me. I must say I was a pretty good patient too.

They sped up the drip on the IV so hopefully it won't be midnight when it is done. Ross is just waiting for the call. Kind of like the call for having a baby but this time I am going home. Home Sweet Home!!! and no baby.

It has been an amazing journey. Not one I ever want to do again but certainly one that has given me some time to pause and look around me and see how many blessings I have. My family is first and foremost. Ross is a great husband that I cherish with all my heart. He is my rock and companion and without him I wonder how I would ever survive the day. We have two very terrific boys that have been right with me all the way. Calling, writing, texting and checking up on their mother. Healing me with their humor and concern. They have great women in their lives that have supported me and sent their love daily.

Thank you God for all of them and your guidance.

Great Gals

It's Friday but not the weekend yet. At least not in my mind. I have until Sunday to finish the chemo so I need to keep focused on the end. It will be here soon but a couple more days. Have to hang in there. For the most part my spirits have been good. Again I can not say it enough, the support I have received has certainly made this possible and more bearable. Since it is Friday, Ross was able to get here around noon and share my lunch with me. There always seems something from my tray that he gets a taste of. He stayed until his two sisters and Mom arrived. He met them down stairs because they were bringing him a meal and he wanted to transfer it into the cooler. I heard it was beef bourguignon and more. I suggested (a bit selfish on my part) to freeze it and then we could have it when I get home. This blond is still thinking and not too much of a chem head yet. The ladies arrived. I should have taken a picture because they were colored coordinated. They each had a top or sweater with about the same color. Not just any color that would be easily dressed a liked. It was a sort of pea green. But even so, very attractive on all three of them. They never come emptied handed. There were roses and cards. And then great conversations. They received a treat also while they were visiting. Some of the nurses were going around serving candy and root beer floats. There were a few takers in the group. Not I but others did par take. Mom really enjoyed hers. I think she should have one every afternoon. If I was 92 and as healthy as she is, believe me I would be eating some hot fudge sundaes with lots of whip cream and cherries. It was a good day and a quiet night. What else could a gal ask for.

draft

Is my butt glowing?

Today was a mile maker. 25 radiation treatments were completed today. I did them all. I don't think the Doctors thought I could do it but they didin't know how tough this Hoosier gal can be. Yeah!!!! Yipee!!! Thank Goodness!!!

Since I was ill one day last week and missed a treatment, the radiation treatment was finished today on a Saturday. Which is not the norm. But the radiation doctor decided that we would go ahead and complete it instead of me coming back in on Monday as an out patient. I was sooooooo grateful. The team had to come in just for me and fire that machine up just for little ole me. I could kiss all of them. They were all wonderful throughout this whole thing. Concerned about how I was feeling and how my caboose was doing. Made me feel like a real person and not a no nothing on a cold slab. I said it before but there are some great angles all around me.

Ross came by after he had done some chores. We enjoyed lunch again together. I was brave today and ordered items that had been starring at me since I came here. Like French fires and chicken nuggets. Tasted great at the time but in retrospect might not have been the smartest. I think my system needs some more healing time before I can tackle these things again.

I am looking forward to a hamburger and a chocolate doughnut. These are on my wish list when the time is right.

The count down is officially on. They hung the last bag of Chemo. Doctor came in and wrote the orders for me to be released on Sunday. So after the the last drip goes in I am out of here. It may be late but I am leaving Sunday evening when this is done. Yeah again!!! Less than 24 hours and this part of the journey is a memory.

Visitors

Today was a normal day in my routine for being in the hospital and receiving this treatment. The nurses have been great. The food is good. I think I am eating way too much but when you can choose anything from a menu, they deliver it and I don't have to cook or clean up.... why not take advantage of the room service. Ross is worried we may receive this huge bill at the end of this saying the insurance won't pay for all the food. Eeck!!!!

I had two visitors. It is always good to have them as long as you feel up to it. Amy stopped by before lunch. She was having lunch with a hair dressers client's daughter from the shop she works in. She was picking her up from a school that is very close to the hospital and taking her out to lunch to Chick-fil-A . This by the way was the the little girls idea. She was so excited to have this time with Amy. Amy is a kid magnet and a great gal.

Then before dinner, an old good friend (she is younger than me) stopped by and we had a great time catching up and making fun of things and people. She came bearing gifts. A candle and some spray. Green tea and ginger that is for calming. All the nurses are so impressed with the great smells in my room. I am so glad that I am known for that then something else. Even the cleaning lady was wondering what I was spraying in here. I suggested to her she should carry some with her when she cleans the room. I would!!!! It was so great to catch up with Kathy and make plans and discuss the camping trip that is planned in March. We had such a great time last year and can't wait to do a repeat and spend even more time at Blue Springs.

Ross decided to pass coming by. He had a hard day and said he was pretty dirty. The dirty part was the selling point. Since I had had two visitors already, I enjoyed my quiet dinner and watched the great view from my room. I also had some reading to do. I had started reading Eat, Pray. Love when my treatment began and I had asked others to read it along with me. Ross' Mom took me up on it (she was one of many) and I heard she had finished it. Since she was coming for a visit tomorrow and was eager to discuss it, I had my home work for the night. Luckily I had some available time throughout the night and I did finish it. Enjoyed it very much and am looking forward to seeing the movie.

Throughout this I have been so impressed by the concern, prayers and out poor of love from friends, family and acquaintances. They have been so generous with their time and thoughts. Paying it forward is going to keep me quite busy.

Stay Calm

Today was a lesson for staying calm. We had the plan and Ross stayed home to take me and get me admitted. Before we left the house at 8:30 AM, the hospital called and informed me that did not have a bed available and not to come to the hospital, they would call when one was available. Ugh again and so early.

So we saw, Di. He wrote the orders and then went to radiation treatment. It is in the hospital so I had them call up and see if by chance something was ready. No luck. So Ross and I decided to have some us time and have breakfast at the same time.

Down the road there is a little restaurant called "Alice's Restaurant". It was a pretty warm morning but breezy so we decided to sit outside and enjoy the nice morning. Ordered the specials. Can't go wrong with the breakfast special. I must have been hungry because I believe I cleaned my plate. Thank goodness for the meds to keep my stomach calm. I think they also helped keeping me calm thru this whole process and trying to get admitted.

Still no call so I had the brilliant idea to go to Rooms to Go and look at couches that we had been talking about and had decided we needed desperately and get them in the house before Thanksgiving. So we went shopping and found what we wanted. Signed the papers and we were out of there.

Still no call so back home and wait. There were several calls fro the hospital but still bed no available and would be probably not til Wednesday Am. So Ross decided to go back to work. Not an hour goes by and they call again and they wanted me to check in today and get ready so I would be available to start everything in the morning. I also had requested one of the two rooms that had a shower and it was a available but no guarantees it would be there in the morning. No problem, my bags were packed and in the car. So I drove myself to the hospital. Hauled my for computer, purse, make up bag and suitcase up to the third floor and waited some more because the room was not clean. Ross was amazed I was able to truck all my stiull up there all by myself. I am very resourceful when I need be.

There is a family room on this floor so I patiently waited. In the room also was a family grieving and waiting for a love one to pass over. It didn't seem like it would be long but I felt such sorrow for them, knowing what they were going thru and not really being able to say much since I was the intruder in the room.

There also was a call for security during this time. Three policemen showed up. Not sure what happened but they handled it quietly and very professional. So I was very glad in deed to get to my private room, with a view of the river and a shower. I was a happy lady.

Since they couldn't do an IV's until tomorrow I was a free women for the night and could move around freely. Not that I like trekking up and down the hall ways in my pajamas. Just not my thing.

Ross came after work. Had a little dinner with me and a good conversation before he needed to go and get some rest and take care of the pups. Good night my sweet prince.

Before I forget. Today Is Carl's 32nd birthday. He was home on Monday, baked his own cake and found a recipe for butter cream frosting. I told him this was what I used for icing all the time before canned icing came out. Sounds like I am dating myself. It is what it is and he is a gem. Hugs and Kisses to the birthday boy!!!

Hiccups

This week I had a few hiccups. Tuesday morning was the start of it. I woke early like 4:00 AM. When I wake that early my body is usually telling me something is wrong. I was cold for one thing and not just another blanket cold. This was one of those internal colds. I asked for a blanket, hot tea and then the heating pad to see if this would help. It just didn't seem to cut the mustard. I took all the meds I could think of to help but again not much relief. I was concerned that I would have some nausea and sure enough it did happen. My fresh ginger candy, tea and meds was not handling it. So the inevitable did happen and several times. Nothing much I could do about it.

I was suppose to go in for my usual radiation treatment at 9:30 AM and I knew that wasn't going to happen. The technician did call to see where I was and then had the radiation nurse called me to see what they could do. They called in another anti nausea medicine. Ross ran to pharmacy and soon I was feeling much better. Thank god for modern medicine. Things turned around quickly and became better since I could take in nourishment and keep it.

I was concerned about missing the treatment but again there wasn't much I could do about it. I just didn't want to prolong anything. I wanted to stay with the schedule and finish. They reassured me that even starting treatment on Tuesday we still could get it all finish and not have to prolong to another week. Such a relief. I am so close to the finish line. I want to cross over it soon!!!!

I spoke to Dr G during the week and asked what was going to happen and get some answers for the next week since it needed to be coordinated with the oncologist and be done in the hospital. Well here was hiccup #2.

The oncologist was out of town on Thursday and Friday of this week so he could not write up the orders. The plan was to have radiation treatment Monday morning like usual, see Dr G and then Dr I and get the orders signed. Well I did the radiation on Monday and saw Dr G but found out Dr I's plane was delayed, actually he was bumped, on Sunday and he was not back in town. Ugh!!!!

So Plan C I think. Monday, Dr I was able to phone in the orders, went to pre admit and then had plan for Tuesday. I was going to see Dr I at another office Tuesday Am, go to radiation and then check into hospital. Good. Great. All the plans were finally made and I was going to get my treatment this week and fisnish this journey.

More than Half Way

This is the third week of treatment. It seems to have gone pretty fast but then again not fast enough if that makes any sense. Everyday it has been the same routine. Radiation treatment that only takes 15 seconds on each side and then off to do whatever. The whatever is always a question. It depends on how I feel at the time. The mornings are about the same. I eat a modest breakfast but sometimes that doesn't occur until I have my magic potion pill to make my stomach behave. When that kicks in everything is a breeze.

Ross decided to take the week off this week starting from Tuesday. So we have enjoyed some time together. We took in a matinée on Tuesday. Mostly because the house cleaning guy was coming and I can not stand to be there when he cleans. I would rather walk into a a clean house than to see the process. So we saw Secretariat. I love a good horse movie and this one was. We came home to an unclean house and a message saying the cleaning guy would be there tomorrow. Ugh.

So we spent Wednesday morning out of the house doing some more errands and getting some supplies for the Relay for Life fundraiser we are participating in. We have a team "The Walloping Wahines" that is entered in the relay that will be held in St Augustine April 9th. The link for it is:

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY11National?px=18158811&pg=personal&fr_id=30073

This will bring you right to my page and there is a donate button right there. If any one would like to join us for that weekend that would be great too. St Augustine is a great city to visit and the weather in April should be wonderful.

The rest of the week I found myself getting more tired, needed those naps and having more effects from the radiation that it seemed best to stay close to home. Ross' mother and his sister Ann came up Friday for a short visit. It was good to see both of them and catch up on events.

The rest of the weekend was about the same, staying close to home, rest and getting physically and mentally ready for the next two weeks. 14 days but really only 10 more days of treatment. That sounds great. TEN More Days of Treatment. Yeah!!!!!

I thank all my family and friends for cards, well wishes and prayers to keep me up lifted and strong to accomplish this task. You are all the Greatest.

Week two is done

This the end of the second week and there are only three more weeks to go. Inch by inch I am geting there and again I have to quote my dear friend "This too shall pass". The goal end is getting closer. At least I am two weeks closer than when I started. Taking an inventory of how I feel and how things have gone so far. I would give it a "B". Not bad. Some soreness and tenderness but it is manageable. My appetite is good. The drugs keep that under control. They don't want me to loose any real amount of weight during this process. I think it screws up their calculations and they have to do so more homework. So I eat my mac and cheese guilt free.

Today is also Friday and Carl has taken the day off and driving down to spend the weekend with us. He arrives around noon and Ross just called and said he was done at work so we could go and have a picnic together. Right before Carl got here he received a call from his school (School for the Blind and Deaf in St Augustine) and they were on a lock down and there was a bomb threat. After many calls and hours he ddi receive word that there was a threat. All the kids and teachers were being held in hte soccer field and ordering hundreds of pizzas for the kids since it was lunch time.

We had a great lunch and catch up time on the beach. Our favorite place these days. I even whined for some ice cream and magically it appeared. I think I have super powers along with this cancer.

It was such a spectacular day I just couldn't go in the house so we sat underneath the old oak tree that the kids had abused as they were growing up and continued with our great day. Keith arrived home early from work and our family was complete. We talked to neighbors as they passed by. Some stopped longer than others but it was all good.

Keith and Carl decided to take the kayak down to the Savannah and try for "Walter". No luck but they as always have a great time and storied to tell.

I found my self all of a sudden exhausted. I didn't pencil in my nap and it finally caught up to me. Since Amy had made and brought over dinner last night for tonight, I took a well needed rest. I woke to the smell of lasagna. How wonderful and delicious. Salad and garlic bread rounded out the meal. As many times as Keith and I have tried to duplicate her sauce we just are missing something. That Italian flare I guess. Hats off the the chef!!!

The rest of the evening we had out first "Relay for Life" meeting. Danielle is on the committee for the one in St Augustine in April. Carl wanted to have a team and since I will be a survivor, it seemed the logical venue. We named out team the Walloping Wahines. We thought the name was appropriate with my diagnosis and there is a tropical theme to the event. You have to have some fun. We strategised way into the night until this little girl needed to get her wahine into bed. Aloha Baby!!

My prince to the rescue

Since my little incident with the sprinkler head on Monday, Ross decided he should take the day off and drive me. I also awoke very nauseated and the medicine they gave me works very well but also makes me more goofier than I already am. This same medicine may have been a factor in the sprinkler incident as well. I was relieved that he was going to be my driver and I could concentrate on me and not have to worry about anything else.

We drove to the Cancer center. I had my treatment. Bim Bam, thank you mam, I was done. My medicine had kicked in and I was feeling great so we decided to drive out to the beach and enjoy the weather. The waves were kicking up a bit but that didn't really matter. We enjoyed some breakfast and each others company. It felt like we were on vacation and we just discovered this wonderful place Jensen Beach. It isn't Fire Mountain but I will take it for now.

The rest of the day was filled with rest. For the both of us and Tucker and Sport too. We all seemed to have needed it and took full advantage of the peace and quiet.

Am I glowing yet?

I have to mention my heartfelt thank you for all the cards and letters I am receiving from family and friends. It is so powerful and so amazing. Everyday there seems to be one or two in the mail and I love and treasure each one of them. Prayer is so powerful. I know they give me strength and the will to get me thru all this. So don't stop, keep them coming and I love you all for each and every one that is said. Thank you so much.

This week is radiation everyday. They lay me on the machine table. I have a cast of my legs so the are in the same position every time. They line me up according to some numbers and away we go. This process takes 15 seconds on one side and 15 seconds on the other. The drive there to the Cancer Center and back is a much more involved time line.

It was good to be out of the hospital and be able to drive by myself. I took full advantage of it. Rolled down the windows and turned up the tunes. It was a glorious day. The Florida weather is finally cooling off and I am dreaming of fall. Cool and crisp. That is not happening actually but a girl can dream.

After treatment I did do some errands. Grocery store and fruit market. What an exciting day. After unpacking everything a nap was in order. This seems like this may be my pattern for awhile.

There was one exciting tidbit for the day. Some how one of the sprinkler heads by the side of the drives way, very close to my car was a bit broken. Hmmmmmmm. I did back the car in the driveway in order to empty out the back , but other than that I really don't remember anything else. Uh Oh.

Home Sweet Home

Not much more to say here. It was great to be home. Great to see Sport and Tucker and relish in all their kisses.

We were met with some beautiful flowers from Carl and Danielle, as we drove up to the house. We spent the rest of the day just being grateful for all the blessings in our lives and enjoying a quiet day and night together.

There is no place like Home!!!!

TGIF

It is finally Friday. I have been looking forward to this day all week. I thought this was going to be my going home day but because of the way the chemo has been administered it looks like it won't finish until way late. So I will be discharged in the morning.

I had a great surprise, a visit from Jeanie. It was good to see her and catch up on things. It seems like forever since we have had a girl chat. Way too long. For years we sat next to each other at work and everything in our lives were known to each other. The good, bad and the ugly. It was way too short of a visit but wonderful. She came bringing gifts. A beautiful bracelet. Just like her to find the perfect gift.

Ross stopped by on his way home. Since I won't be going home today, it was good for him to get a early visit in so he could get home and get some rest himself.

The rest of the day I found myself more tired than I had been. I guess the chemo was taking a toll. I also found myself more emotional too. Not sure if I was just getting tired of the hospital, homesick, radiation and chemo or a combination of all three. I do know I am ready to be unhooked from all this and get home. I was able to get a nap in and some reading.

Around dinner time Carl called to check in. He and Danielle were meeting Amy and Keith in Orlando. The girls were running in the half marathon at Disney Saturday night. They have been training for the past month or so and really looking forward to it. Since I was being somewhat emotional tonight it was hard to say goodbye. Since Carl wasn't driving he started texting me and got me thru my slump. Ross and I are so blessed to have these great kids and now the great women in their lives.

Counting Down

It is Thursday and after today I have one more day here with one more bag of Chemo. Sad that I am measuring my day and time with how many bags of chemo I have left. But I guess it is just part of the beast. The count down from the day you start till the day it is over. I do feel very fortunate that my treatment is only 5 weeks. So many that have come before me have had to endure so much more.

There is a beautiful view out my window and I am looking forward to a visitor this afternoon. These are the things I dwell on, not the smells and sounds coming from a hospital room. Since I am basically tethered to the IV machine I basically have a very small world.

Amy (Keith's girlfriend) came after lunch bearing gifts. Besides the great company she brought a bouquet of strawberries covered in chocolate. Since my appetite is doing just fine for the most part, I am excited for this treat. She also has great news. She was accepted to the nursing program and will start at the first of the year. Yeah for Amy. She has been working towards this for a long time and will no doubt make an excellent nurse.

Ross also makes his daily visit. I ordered several extra items for dinner so we could share a meal together. Even though it is hospital food (and actually pretty good) I pretend we are just having a picnic on the boat. Much more fun.

I did get in some reading from Eat Pray Love. It is an easy read and I am enjoying her journey.

A day of celebration

Had to put a picture in here today so Tucker made the cut. Such a handsome fellow. He is so handsome and keeping an eye on the house while I am not there. It will be so good to see him and Sport and just be home

It's Ross's birthday. Happy Birthday Baby!!!! He calls me every morning on his way to work. Remember it is around 5:30 Am and sometimes I am not quite awake like this morning. So his birthday wish from me was a couple of hours later when I cam to my senses (I know when is that) and his day was in full force. We did make plans for our evening meal. He was picking up a pizza from our new found love of a pizza parlor just down from the road. I ordered a chef salad, angle food cake and pudding and a soda to fill in the gaps. He actually arrived pretty early and so we had a great time. This is the hight point of my day.

The morning was pretty much the same. They did change a medication to settle my stomach, which is a very good thing. Because if I can keep that under control I am a very happy camper.

Keith stopped by since his day was short do to the weather. We had good visit. Played some games. He adjusted my thermostat so he was comfortable while he was there but it got a little chilly at night here.

Received a call from Amy. Keith's girlfriend, and she just found out she was accepted in the nursing class she will begin in the fall at IRSC. Yeah. How exciting. Congratulations Amy You are going to such an awesome nurse.

I was able to read some today and hang out in my beautiful scenic view. It does such wonders for your spirit.

I have received beautiful flowers, notes and letters from my dear friends and family. They mean so much to me. Knowing you are all out there sending powerful positive messages I am sooooo appreciative and beyond words. I love each and everyone of you.

What a difference a day makes

It is amazing what everyday brings to you after a nights sleep. Each day is so different. Looks like a storm is rolling in and may bring us some rainy weather which our trees and flowers and grass will appreciate. My outlook is rejuvenated from a good nights sleep and I think this day will be calmer and more on an even pace and routine for the month to come.

I woke feeling hungry. That is a good sign so I called up for my breakfast. They give you a great menu to pick from and is delivered in a very timely manner. I requested to take a shower. Always a good thing for the soul. After a clean face and clean teeth I am ready to go. Go where I am not sure but I am ready. My big event of the day is to be wheeled in my carriage by my angle Jerry down to the radiation department for that treatment. We skim the halls, up and down the elevators with precise turns and great conversation along the ways. Treatment is accomplished in less than few minutes and then my carriage awaits with my prince to take me back to my castle room with my great view of the river. What more could a gal ask for.


My gift of the day was a crossword puzzle book. I have such a busy schedule I hope I can find some time to do some mental exercises. My mind is getting a little mushy so this might be just what the doctor ordered.

I am busy talking on the phone, answering emails and updating info on Facebook. In between times I am reading the book Eat Pray Love and bogging on here, It is wonderful to have all these distractions and feel connected to the outside world.

Ross visited after work. We caught up for the day. The storm was finally rolling in and he was tired. So after a great conversation on the day and a list of things he needed to bring me, he was off to settle in at home and take care of the pups and get a good night sleep. It is hard on caretakers going thru this. We have to remember they need our love and support also. Our marriage is a great relationship and even when one of us is down right now the other has always been there for the other one to keep things going. The care takers need lots of love and support also. It isn't easy. So the big guy needs hugs and kisses and lots of support. He is my love and my rock.


I had another visitor tonight also. Billie treaded thru the water and rain just to come up and see me and bring me a goody bag filled with all good stuff. And her wonderful smile and grace. Great conversation to catch up on our families and great laughs. She has been a real support for me for such a long time. Just hope I can be as good as of a friend for her when ever she needs it. Ross and I always enjoy being with both Billie and John. We just never seems to find enough time as far as I am concerned to be together. Fire Mountain next year for sure. But boat show in January first.

Well Tuesday was a good day. Better mental health. Lots of love felt and strength given so I can endure this journey. I could't do this without the support from my wonderful family and great friends and of course the good lord above.

It's All About Me

Day One

Today I started my cancer treatment and my journey to a healthy life. Ross and I started with a visit to the radiation department at the hospital for my first radiation treatment. It was done in less than5 minutes and painless. Then a quick drive and visit with the oncologist to get admitting papers. And then another quick drive to hospital to be admitted. We are talking 30 second drives to all these places. I have a lovely single room overlooking the St. Lucie River with a private bathroom. My prayers were answered. Thank you Thank you!!! There is a time to share and then there is a time not to share. This is really one of those times I just don't want to share.

My first visitors arrived around 12:30 for lunch and packing many gifts. Joie my sister-in-law and Ross' mom Betsy never travel empty handed. Besides a delicious lunch there is a whole bag full of gifts to opened everyday, beautifully wrapped and a message card attached to each one, stating the day to be opened and a little message on the card also. So day One I was blessed with a beautiful angel plaque that is hanging in my room behind my bed letting me know that "Angels gather here" Love it Love it. I also received a book for my leisure time. What a wonderful idea and somehting to look forward every morning.

The purpose of this stay here in the hospital is to have some treatment so we got started with the chemo treatment. It it invokes putting a pick catheter line in. Without getting to technical they insert a tube in your upper arm in the blood vessel and it runs down close to your heart. This is used to administer the chemo treatment along with other medicines I receive throughout the day. They can also draw blood from here also avoiding all the needle sticks. Very comfortable. All the lines are connected to computers that they set to administer the medicine. I received two types this first day. One is just a push. Takes about 5 minutes where they push the meds through. The other one I get in 24 hour bags. I will have 4 when this is all done. I played my cancer song, "I will survive" for the nurses as this was being administered.

Ross visited again on his way home. He is such a good boy. I tossed him a few morsels of food that I had just so he can keep up his strength. Have to nourish and take care of the care taker. Need him so much. He is my rock and my strength.

By the time he left. It had been a long day and I was ready for my happy pill and crawl into bed.

My final thoughts of the day was about how I started this blog "It's all about me". Before my mother died in 2004 Carl bought my mother a book entitled "All about me". It was a very simple book to journal her thoughts. I had hoped that she would take some time in her last months to reflect and fill it out. I thought it was a great gift to journal her legacy to pass on. There were some details and stories but I was disappointed in the readings. It did not have much detail and not very deep thoughts in my mind, but this may be all she could do and I have to give her credit for as much as she did. I lesson that I took from this was to give more back to my family, my husband and children and their families. So I feel that this blog is the first step in this journey of recognizing who I am, putting my thoughts to paper and sharing these memories, not only to my immediate family, but extended family and dear friends. What a great support system I have in place and with their prayers and love and devotion I receive from them and God's will, I am going to come out of this on the other side stronger and healthier.

It's all about me but I need all of you to make me the best I can be. Love to each one of you.

Preparation Day

You would think that if it was Sunday we could sleep in. But no not at the Jacobson's. What happen to lose days? The boys are going fishing and the girls minus this old gal are going running. Amy and Danielle are running in the half marathon next weekend up at Disney. So they are running 10 miles this morning. After their prep and some breakfast of peanut butter and bananas, loaded with drinks and lots of determination - they are off. They had mapped out their scenic route to include some cool breezes if that is possible in Florida heat in the 80's

Carl, Keith and Ross got their fishing poles and loaded up the boat. The kids bought him a new reel for his birthday so they had to go out and see if it works. Don't ask me what kind. They all look the same to me. But he was impressed and very grateful. I am sure between him and Keith they have figured out which reel they are replacing it with. It seems to me there a ton of reels and rods in our garage but when I express that they always seem to have some need for it.

I had a day of baking some banana bread. I hate to throw those bananas out and the kids said they would take some home too. So I am able to share my wares with family and have some left over for later days.

I spent the rest of the day mentally and physically preparing for this next week's stay in the hospital to begin my cancer treatment. The day has finally come and I must say I am a little nervous about it all. But find comfort that I will be in the hospital where they can monitor it all. This first week I will receive chemo and radiation for the first 5 days. Then I will continue my radiation for the next 4 weeks as an out patient. I did find out that I could take my computer. Which will be my entertainment. I do have a book to read also. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I have several people commissioned to read it at the same time including my wonderful and cute mother-in-law Miss Betsy. Thought it would be fun to share the story and the adventure. A book club via the internet. The modern world of technology. Any one is welcome to join. No membership fees.

The boys returned home with some success and the girls were able to struggle thru the heat and accomplish their 10 mile goal. The dogs got prepared for the next coming weeks by getting their baths. Nothing better than a good smelling dog except maybe a baby after their bath all clean and powdered. After they left and the house was quiet I had time to reflect on the weekend and count my many blessings. We had a great time visiting and have a wonderful family. Ross and I are surely blessed.

Divine Order

Like the ebb and flow of the tides, my life is balanced and in order. Though at times storms may arise and waves may crash against my shore.
- Daily Word

Saturday and the family is all home. Carl and Danielle and Bradley arrived last night and we are up and ready for breakfast. After some of Ross' eggs and bacon and other goodies we stayed around the breakfast table and had a great Jacobson discussion. Brings back many fond memories of other family gatherings minus the melon. We were enjoying each others company and great conversations. Keith even managed to get a point in once in awhile. This was mostly about the school system since we have 2 experts at the table and what we can do as citizens and our responsibilities. Of course it was political too. Can't have one of these without politics getting involved. But no one stormed out or left the room crying. That is a good thing.

Mail arrived with several cards. Ross did managed to squeak one from the pile that was his for his upcoming birthday. Ross' mom sent me the scripture from the daily word that was so perfect for today. I received a few others that were just as endearing. I believe I spoken about cards already in here so you know how I feel about them. Thank you all.

We planned an early birthday dinner for Ross since I will be a little detained next week. Amy will be here and an old dear friend to help us celebrate this auspicious occasion. So Keith got busy making the spaghetti sauce, I ran to the grocery store and Danielle went and had her hair cut at Amy's salon. Her school picture are this week and you have to look great for those photos. They hang around a long time. Even Tucker and Sport played nicely with Bradley. Business as usual. With the help from everyone we had a great evening. Dinner was terrific. Ross managed to blow out his candles with little effort. It was good to catch up with Gene's life and all of his "treasure finds" stories. Good times.

Danielle is involved in this years committee for planning and organizing the walk to cure cancer up in St Augustine. It is going to be held in April for 18 hours. So we are signed up as a team. I believe our official name for our team is the Walloping Wahines. Since I have anal cancer and the theme is tropical we thought we would have some fun with this. Look for more news about this as the date gets closer.

The day was Divine Order. Everything was wonderful. "My life is balanced and in order, and all is well."

The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good - Luke 6:45

I believe in Angels

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Sarah McLauchlan

As I left the Cancer Center today this song came on and I thought gee I was just in the company of angels. As soon as you walk into this facility you can feel the warmth. It was built with angels and it is filled with angels. They have to be to do what they do and to be so compassionate. They have always treated me with dignity and respect. I was there to do a simulation. Without going into too many details it is basically getting me ready to have my radiation. They want the same position each time so the targets can be the same every time. While this is not difficult it is a little sensitive. The nurses, techs and doctors understand this and treated me in a manner that I was completely comfortable.

I am finding that there are so many good and generous people around me. I am overwhelmed by the love and concern that my friends and family have for me. I have always felt that there are lessons in everything we go thru and I was wondering from the onset of this what lessons I would be learning.

Lesson#1: Love is not always easy to accept. I must never take it for granted and know that I am worthy of receiving it.

Love to my family and friends

The Gift of Cards

I received a lovely card this week from a dear friend and got me thinking that we don't receive as many as we use to and I don't send as many as I use to either. Probably due to the fact I can call someone up and thank them or I can text them or contact them on Facebook. The technology is great but there is something very special about receiving a card.

I think about the person who is sending it had to go and pick it out. It takes Ross hours to do this but he loves to find the right one for someone and you can hear him all over the store laughing at them and having a grand old time. I could leave Ross there for an hour and know he was still there when I came back from shopping the entire store.

The sender also has to find your address, write the sentiment (which for me is the hardest), have a stamp and get it to the mail box. Besides the cost of cards and stamps these days, it takes an effort to do all this and I must admit I fall in that category of being lazy and it never happens.

But being on the side of the receiver, it brings such joy from a pretty simple and easy gesture. It doesn't seem to matter what the card or the sentiment says but knowing that someone was thinking about you and took the time to stop and put words to paper is such a treasure.

Ross' 92 year old mother is an amazing lady. We decided to stay at her house Saturday night to visit with her and spend the night. It was also more convenient to stay in West Palm Beach and not have to drive home after our Saturday night dinner with friends. We had a lovely afternoon sitting outside her apartment on the balcony. The wind was cool which is unusual this time of year in Florida. Ross and Mom had a cocktail and we had a great conversation. Catching up on things and telling old stories again.

Mom had been upset this past week because she just didn't know what to do to help me and Ross during this period. She was going to cook food and bring it up to the boys (Ross and Keith) while I was in the hospital. This was way too much for her and very unnecessary but very typical for her. Then I started thinking about the card I had received this week and I know she loves to write cards. So the perfect solution was to tell her if she wanted to help that she can send me lots of cards, filled with lots of love and prayers.

The best gift.

Friendship

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Saturday night, Ross and I met a girlfriend of mine. Kathy and I went to grade school and high school together and roomed together for a couple of years. We had dinner with Kathy and her husband Ryan for dinner and had about 4 hours to cram 27 years of catching up into it before they left for their cruise in Ft Lauderdale. . So I hope I wasn't too stupid or any more stupid than I usually am.

Of course there has been some stupid things Kathy and I did that I think should just remain in the history books. She seemed to always pull me in a direction that usually wasn't my regular path. One night I remember well and very significant for me was when she decided to fix me up on a blind date. She had met a guy at the "Bulldog" a local bar named after Butler University Bulldogs. This guy had a friend and Kathy had a friend so why not fix us up. When I asked Kathy a few minor questions, there seemed to be a few missing details. And then she informed me that they were not picking us up (in those days that was a real no no in my book). We were going over there to an address unknown. Hmmm.... Seemed suspicious to me but I went along with it anyway but by the time we arrived I was more than a little miffed. Maybe because Kathy had to knock on the doors of several houses asking for a name she wasn't sure was first or last. Oh did I mention they said they would turn their "red" porch light on. Which never happened.

That night I was introduced to Jimmy Buffet music and his blowing out his flip flops. I met an amazing dog (Toby) that would toss a tennis ball from the balcony right into your hand, I was given a tour of a great house on Washington Boulevard that had great potential but in January was a tad cold and I met my wonderful husband Ross.

I have to give Kathy much praise because if it wasn't for her I would not have this wonderful life I have had for the past 33 years.

Got to love old friends and cherish those friendships. They know you the best.

Laughter

Laughter.... Sparkles like a splash of water in sunlight

I saw this saying today as I was waiting to have a cat scan done and trying to drink this ungodly concoction. It reminded me that I needed to laugh and that laughter is such a healing element. The fact that this is anal cancer is just a big joke in itself. Dr I ( the oncologist) greeted us last week and said that this will be a great topic of conversations at cocktail parties. I can see my dear friends now making a list of butt jokes. Good thing my caboose is so cute or I would really take offense to it all.

I did mention to the surgeon that I should have used more sun screen. Not sure he found it funny but I did.

We did meet Dr G (the radiologist) yesterday and he has a pretty good sense of humor also. As he was describing how they get you ready for the radiation and he has to contort my body in different positions, I could see Ross' wheels turning and hoping he has enough good sense not to say anything at that moment. Dr G did come up with a new medical term that I think will be in the medical journals pretty soon. CHEMOY or CHEMOIE - how you feel a week after you have had chemo therapy. I think I can milk this for awhile and I want a T-shirt with "I am Chemoy" on it.

The plan is to enter the hospital on 9-27 and have radiation and chemo that week. Then the next 4 weeks I will receive radiation as an out patient. If my body can tolerate it then there is a possibility I could receive another round of chemo the last week of radiation. I figure I should be done the last week of October. Over and done with and ready for the holidays to spend time with my family and count my blessings.

Laugh today at yourself. It is certainly better than crying but if you need to then do that also. A good cry is very therapeutic also I think.

This is all new to me

Well .... this is a new experience and an intimidating one. But I felt it would be a healthy choice and that is really what this is about. Improving my health not just with diet but with healthy choices that I make everyday.

The catalyst to this blog was that on September 2nd, 2010 I was diagnosed with cancer. I have had some scares in the past but this one is a little more serious. The treatment will involve chemotherapy and radiation but very optimistic that it will be treated successfully. I am not writing this to tell all the gory details but to share the wonderful and golden moments that I have. From day one a friend reached out to me and shared the following:

"On the Sunday before my first hip replacement, and knowing what the next 6 months held in store, my religious leader gave me some counsel that I will never forget. He said that while the next while would be painful, exhausting, and may feel like it will never end, it would in fact end someday. The kind of person I wanted to be at the end of the ordeal was up to me. I could choose to suffer with a good attitude or a bad attitude, but I was going to suffer no matter what.

He told me that this was a time that I could teach my children how to endure while keeping strong in my faith. I could show my family that I didn’t necessarily like what I was going through, but that I could do it with the attitude of knowing that I was going through the refiner’s fire."

This sharing has set the whole tone for my recovery and this blog.

I had another friend and cancer survivor tell me she played "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor, everyday. That is a great song and I am playing it everyday. Another dear friend and survivor told me her motto was "This too Shall Pass". And she would know. Just love these ladies.

I also have to say I have a wonderful husband that said he would do anything that is necessary. including trying the Hallelujah diet. He said it made sense to him. I haven't checked it all out yet but I will and will talk about it here but my point is what this husband of 32 years would do for me. This diet is a plant based diet. NO MEAT!!, NO MAYONNAISE!!. For him to give theses things up it must be Love and dedication. Wow